Junkyard

Today is 26^th January, 2009. The 60^th Republic Day.

I came back from flag hoisting at my school.

Whatever you do, wherever you go, there are some things that one holds dearest to the heart. Among many such things, what I hold dear today and will do so forever is undoubtedly “My” School. :razz:

When in school in spite of being in my school choir group and always interested in taking part in extra-curricular activities, I never realized the auspiciousness of these days.

Now almost three years have passed since I left the school (physically! Because I still imagine myself roaming around in the corridors of school :P), and I have never missed a single 15^th august or 26^th January till today.

And I want to continue.

In so many years of my school’s existence, nothing has changed.

Teachers clad in white & red saris, screaming at late appearing students, some curious, some tired/sleepy faces in the primary classes, our music teacher playing patriotic songs on the synthesizer, the NCC cadets (girls & boys) getting ready for the march past and our old English teacher doing the comparing in the most soothing voice I’ve ever heard. :grin:

This is the exact scene what I see every time I entire the gates of the school ground.

My eyes search the crowds for the glimpse of my favorite teachers. We show them a familiar gesture. The chief guests arrive and the flag is hoisted. The national anthem echoes in all directions. And without being instructed, almost mechanically we salute the Flag.

And I am sure, the most unpatriotic person present there (even though for a second) feels pride in his/her heart as one for nothing else but our nation, our country,

:-o INDIA :-o

As I see the flag flutter & wave, I just feel nice. Flag hoisting can be done anywhere. But I will always prefer school.

This can be a debate topic whether the young generation feels patriotic only on these two days. Some think it’s just another holiday. And consider it as a punishment to wake up early morning. :-?
Well, it’s your wish, after all. But, I think there is nothing much to argue on that.To me, it just feels great to be present there.

Anyways, hoisting is followed by some cultural program, felicitating students and speech by the dignitaries.

What we await the most is the sweets distribution! :mrgreen: Then we meet our beloved teachers and leave the school while promising them to reappear the next time too.

And believe me, it’s a tradition for me now. Whatever I do, wherever I go, I will keep returning to “my” school whenever in city. :wink:

It’s with me for years now.
However hard I try I am unable to get rid of this weird of feeling.

I think too lowly of myself. :sad:
I never feel that I am superior to others.
I just think I am capable of doing this.
JUST that.
I never even once think that I can/will do “it” better than others. :???:
I don’t know why, but I always find myself feeling that people around me are able to perform things in a more efficient manner than me.

I am writing this post early morning because I woke up just now and could clearly remember a dream (or a nightmare) while brushing my teeth!

(Another weird thing about me, while sleeping I dream almost daily.
And unlike many, I remember most of my dreams clearly! :P
If I write about my dreams I can write another BIG post.)

So I remember today in my dream I was back in my trekking shoes.
And our madam was shouting at me to climb the hill as fast as possible.
The hill was full of big rocks. And I tried really hard. But my foot was slipping continuously. All others who were with me, had now reached at the top. And were showing me their sympathetic faces.
(Boy! That was scary!) :neutral:
The dream ended with my ‘ultra-screaming’ alarm!
(Boy! That’s scary again!)  :shock: :shock: :shock:

So, in all dear readers, you must have realized that the ‘lowly’ feeling doesn’t leave me while sleeping too!

I even do F9 twice on my post to check if anything is wrongly spelled.
If anyone says I am doing something wrong more than once, I take utmost care to avoid repeating it.

I don’t know why I am like this.
In spite of all my achievements till date, I wonder will I ever, for even a day, feel that “I am the best and ignore the rest!”

My folks say I am just plainly too modest. (That sounds cool :cool: )
May be that’s true.
But it’s still kind of weird when I see people with mediocre talents or nothing-extraordinary personalities behaving as though they are the Kings & Queens of the World and go on pretending to be best and throwing tantrums at others. :mad:

Thus, the lowly feeling does nothing ‘bad’ to me.
But, it surely disturbs…

Now I am sipping the hot coffee and thinking...Main aisi kyu hoon! :wink:

Being 18 years neither seems old enough, nor mature! :P Till now, it has happened endless number of times that people say, “Bahaar ki duniya bohot buri hai.” People also say, “Abhi tumne dekha hi kya hai!” .... :(

What these people want to point out at is that, we live in a protective shell and we are not ready for the horrible things waiting around for us. Once we move out we will experience things so bad that we won’t be able to believe them be true.

In newspapers & on television, all that they show is crap! It gives me a feeling that in world all that is left is hatred, treachery, non-cooperation, jealousy, corruption, violence & war. While, I believe & want to continue believing, exactly the opposite of that! :)

I discussed this with Aai. (Aai always sounds better than “Mom”) :P And as always she has the perfect answers to all such questions. Aai says, “Why the heck should we believe that the world is bad. If we believe at heart that everything & everybody is here for good, then the world appears that way to our eyes.” She says, “Consider that all the bad things are not meant for me.” :)

And if we really start thinking that way, it chases away all our worries & gives our mind, some space to think more of GOOD. :D

Really! Try it, it works.

And Aai...

:) You Rock! :)

As JK says in Harry Potter, if bad things are happening to you, believe that they happen, FOR THE GREATER GOOD! :)